Transitions of the 20's, 30's and 40's
The 20’s :
I’ve come to think of the twenties as a truly trying time of life. I have worked with hundreds of clients in their twenties who, since graduating from college, have become frustrated, confused, disenchanted and somewhat disenfranchised. They often believe that everyone else has everything figured out and feel the pressure to catch-up and make all the right moves and decisions so they’ll know what they’re going to do “for the rest of their lives.”
I was one of these twenty-somethings too — twenty years ago. And I know how overwhelming all of the decisions (choices?) can feel. Unfortunately, most of us don’t get the one-on-one support and encouragement that we need to realize what really clicks in terms of our work life. Not to mention all of the social and familial changes that may have taken place: parents who might have separated during their kids’ college years, good friends moving across the country, dealing with office politics or difficult roommates. The pressure we put on ourselves is coming from so many sources: parents, relatives, friends, society, and mostly ourselves. It’s difficult to know how to resolve questions and concerns that are new. It’s hard to take a leap to go for a job when you don’t have experience or contacts. (How will you know it’s right for you?)
Often times an overwhelming decision-making process motivates people to make decisions based on limited information. For instance, many new grads choose to go to law school because it’s a respectable profession with a structured career path. Law school itself may be interesting to many new grads who are used to the rigors of studying, but the actual work and structure of the life of a lawyer leaves them cold, angry and in debt.
It may take time, but through our work together clients are ultimately able to make the decisions they need and create what they want.
You’ve probably already heard that the 30’s are the new 20’s…
Many of my clients in their 30’s have made moves to a new city and are trying to get a new career going. Or they’ve been doing what they’ve been doing for several years, let’s say working in the entertainment industry, and have realized that they ar not yet where they thought they’d be. They don’t have the satisfaction, money, social life they thought they’d have by now. They want and need to make some changes but don’t know where to begin. Together we look at real interests and intentions, find out how to get back to what really matters and how to fulfill their needs. We then develop strategies to uncover options that will work. We all throw roadblocks in our way when we think we can’t have what we want or think what we want isn’t possible. I support my clients by looking beyond these roadblocks. We then figure out how to make things happen instead of letting goals remain unreachable.
Most of my clients in their 40’s are lookin for authenticity. They’ve weathered the 20’s and 30’s and are looking to find the right way to have their work, their personal lives and their avocations all moving in the right direction – for them. It’s a new way of looking at the world. The old concerns about what others think of them become less important and they’re ready to break into something that may have previously seemed daring. Or maybe they are ready to step up to the next level in their career, or take a leap and combine interests and talents. These are the clients who know it’s time for something new and important. We work together to get clarity about priorities and the necessary steps to take it to that next level of satisfaction and success. The 40’s can be a great time of change – invited or not – which can include both frightening and wonderful things. As a 40 something myself, I know the 40s have been an incredible time of change, yielding more personal and professional happiness than I could possibly predict.
I know from first-hand experience that nothing good comes without effort and the willingness to learn. Doubt and fear are tremendously powerful. I work with my clients to recognize where and how their doubt and fear stops them. We take a good look at what’s possible and how to go for it without being foolhardy or naÃ¯ve. Accomplished professionals or those beginning their work lives, those with a lot of money, and those with little – everyone deals with the challenges of fear and doubt. I work to show people the possibility that I see in them and that they suspect is there. Together we come up with ways to make things happen so that they get what they want, the way they want it – with integrity, safety and increased clarity.