When you’re presenting yourself in social, or more formal, situations- in an elevator or at those mythical cocktail parties – you have the choice, and the power, to help listeners learn what’s really important about you. How you talk about yourself, what you start with and where you go with your story, is always up to you. This requires, first, that you know who you are, what you want, and where you’re going. Sound like pressure? It might.

A lot of people feel kind of queasy when they work on their elevator pitch. They try to memorize a catchy, pithy statement to use when meeting people, making sure they don’t trip on their words. Personally, I prefer that my clients think more about having a conversation with someone in a way that genuinely conveys who they are – hitting the key points that are important. You can call that an elevator pitch – but how does that feel for you? I want you to feel good about you, and about connecting with others while sharing the story of who you are.

Follow these tips to create, and then share, your genuine message of you:

1. Ask yourself – How can I explain what I do so others understand it? With all of the complexity of jobs these days you might need to figure out a way to simplify the way you talk about what you do so others really understand. Even those who don’t know the ins and outs of your work can be helpful to you! Engaging others in a conversation about what you do (and of course what they do!) and how this impacts commerce/the world/people can be useful in creating a good connection.

• Make a list of things you know you love to do (tailor this to whatever your needs are- going to a conference and just want to make new contacts? Going somewhere that you’ll need to talk about yourself with potential job search contacts?)  and how these actions or skills create positive results. How long have you been enjoying these activities/skills?

• What characteristics can you use to describe yourself?  (Ambitious, creative, analytical, have tons of energy – make these descriptors your own)

• Write down what you want to see for yourself in the next year – or 5. What new position(s) are you looking to move towards, or what new organization(s)?

• Now pull this all together into a few casual sentences – you do not want to deliver this is a rehearsed manner! – so that you can genuinely share what you’re about – maybe like this:

You know how you see those sponsored ads in Instagram? I’m the one analyzing the data that tells me who should get those ads. I’ve loved analyzing puzzles, numbers, and patterns my whole life  – you could say I’m one of those number nerds — and this analytics job has given me a chance to be really creative – and nerdy-  with new systems to create new processes that deliver more accurate results for my team. I’m aiming to join the data analytics team at Amazon or Google in the next year and a half.

This is a tight, short version of a story. You’ll have many opportunities to tell your story in a wide variety of situations, and being prepared will give you more of the results you want; so know what you want.

Remember that your attitude and enthusiasm, the energy you convey, has everything to do with how others will respond to you.

Be energetic, smile, (dare I say: have fun?) with the people you meet and they’ll remember you, and remember you more positively. Be sure to read the tone of the situation you’re in, notice the dynamics of the people you’re with so you’ll know what’s appropriate. You don’t want to be the one who’s being too relaxed in a formal environment, or vice versa!

Sharing your story well puts others at ease and helps them to do the same. You’re mood, energy and interest is contagious. Get out there and tell your good story.

If you’re having trouble telling your story, and want personalized help in pulling it together, let me know and we can work it out together. Call 877-872-3929 to set up a free, short call!

Make the most of your summer fun by meeting the people who can help you grow in your career!

Maybe it’s a residual from being kids going on summer vacation, but most of us, as adults, tend to take it a bit easier during the summertime. Yes, you are still working away, but the longer days just seem to spell ‘vacation.’ You can’t not want to head to the beach, take some time off, and enjoy the long, sunny days. 

Thankfully, this is a great time to take advantage of your summer mindset by reaching out to connect with new contacts while you’re also taking it easy! Here are a few ideas how to use the long days of this summer so you’re ready to make the career moves you want post-Labor Day. 

Connect at Summer Events

One of the best things about summer is all of the relaxed, outdoor events. Maybe your company is offering a BBQ or another outdoor, casual event. This makes for an excellent chance to get to know your co-workers better, strengthen connections and relationships. These events can help you become more visible to the people you want to know you in your organization, planting seeds for opportunities of advancement down the line.

No matter what kind of summer gathering you are attending, be prepared by always keeping your business cards on you. Taking your child to a birthday party? Getting on a plane for work or vacation? Make sure that you have a few cards stored in your pocket. Being ready by knowing how you want to talk about yourself and what your professional interests are – aka, doing some networking preparation – can lead to remarkable opportunities in the unlikeliest of places. 

Find a Great Summer Class

Summer yoga in the park, masters swim groups, tennis clinics, or summer extension school classes offer opportunities to go beyond your existing networks and meet like-minded people you’ve never interacted with before. You might become friends with people in industries that are in no way related to your own, or you could meet others who work in related sectors (especially if you take a summer class that relates to a work function). Either way, every contact and relationships you develop could lead to new opportunities down the road. Plus, you’ll be learning new skills and developing new or deeper abilities that can boost your bandwidth and reflect well on your resume. 

Take Advantage of Technology

If you’re out of work during the summer, as stressful as this might be, you can also get outside and work anywhere on your job search. Connect with others online from a place that makes you feel great – outdoors anywhere. With so many people working remotely these days, you may meet others who aren’t constrained to an indoor office, and learn about remote jobs from others nearby.

This kind of kismet really happens!

Look for opportunities for happy accidents to occur. And, of course, always be leveraging LinkedIn and Facebook to connect with others and learn about possible opportunities. Check out where your current contacts are working and cross-reference with other online sites like Indeed, Idealist.org, and Remote.co. When you see a position at a company you’re interested in, be sure to research who you know who works there so you can reach out to learn more about the position and perhaps get a direct introduction to the hiring manager.

Make the Most of Summer Fundraisers 

Charity organization events often lead to fantastic opportunities to connect with people in both your industry and others. Whether you attend as a donor or as a volunteer, this is the time of year when people are feeling relaxed and happy to be out at celebratory events. Your involvement in a non-profit is, of course, great to list on your resume, while it also enables you to give back to your community. You can also develop new skills that you can contribute to any organization. Over the years, I’ve created enduring friendships with many people I’ve met while volunteering my time on boards or non-profit committees. 

Networking during the summer is just like networking the rest of the year, but can be a lot more fun and casual. Summer events, the weather, and a generally more relaxed mindset mean that people may be more open to sharing, perhaps more willing to meet for an informational interview. If you embrace the spirit of summer by getting out there with the intention to make new friends, strengthen already existing relationships, and build new connections, then the summer can bring a lot of career-building benefit. Just relax and go for it!

Nobody likes Change. Period.

I’m pretty good with change. I think. But when I really, really think about it, I see that I’m pretty good with change that I initiate. Move the furniture, shift my eating habits, start a new exercise routine, buy and wear new glasses…all good! But what about the other stuff that makes up most of life? You know, the real stuff of life: anything from the tiny ‘papercuts’ we endure… those incessant schedule changes, delays in flights departures, or wacky changing weather patterns, to the more profound changes of loved ones changing ~ any part of growing up, moving away, dying. Maybe, for better or worse, someone enters your work or personal life who you didn’t see coming. In these cases, how do you move with, or against, the changes? Most of us are going to resist change…change is inevitable but we humans aren’t really wired for it. Resistance, however, is what causes most of us the most anxiety and stress. We, in whatever our style is, attempt to protect ourselves, attempt to control change, and life.

What’s Your Style of Dealing with Change?

I know from my own experience, and from that of my clients, friends, and family, that there’s a persistent blind spot in all of us when it comes to change. I know some people who simply always start with no when it comes to the slightest sight of change. Sometimes I kind of envy the yes or no/ black and white kind of response; someone sees something they don’t want to do and they just shut down. They just won’t budge. What’s the outcome of an approach like that? Depending on how the dynamics with others are, this can be an accepted push/pull experience. The resistance is obvious to everyone. Anxiety is behind the whole response, for sure. This is a coping mechanism and there’s a lot of discomfort here. Eventually something or someone has to give. This can take years and then there’s an explosion of change, or there can be take a big push back, and then sudden shift. A zero-sum game ends in a loss somewhere along the line. Is this your style?

Perhaps you’re the person who, seeing change coming, works to be sure that everyone else is comfortable and happy. You keep a positive outlook, attempt to flex with the change, and maybe push your own concerns down…maybe way down. Good natured, you listen for commonalities with others and look for the win in the change. Maybe you put on a good game face and have lots of conversations with yourself, and maybe a few others in private, attempting to hang in like the good team player you are. How is this working for you? Personally, I can relate to this one…and I see it as a positive approach to change. I know, also, that there’s a downside here. Adapting in this way can also mean potentially overriding your own experience and needs. Not processing and owning the understandable emotions in the change, swallowing a lot of pain in the process. Sometimes this approach means a delay in feeling (or knowing what you’re feeling) and then delaying taking the actions that serve you. Maybe this approach is just right. Is it? For you?

Try These Strategies for Effective Change

Here are a few tips to assimilate change in a healthy way:

1. Take some time, with intention, to consider the changes you’re experiencing in your life to notice what style of ‘dealing’ you’re employing. Either sit down with a journal, or you might go for a walk to just think this through. I know some of you aren’t ‘journalers’, but you might take some notes to record and really see where you are with the changes you’re experiencing. I find a long walk can be a great way to process and get new insights, and even take a little notebook with along to capture my thoughts.

• Lighten and loosen up – in order to free yourself up mentally and physically, stretch out the muscles that may have contracted with the changes in your life. Get a good massage or lay on a bolster or yoga block to open up your chest. Notice how tight or open you are. See what emotions come to the surface as you unwind. Remember that change is inevitable. Resistance to change creates more stress, more pain, than the change itself. When we try to keep things as they were, or insist they be the way we want them to be, we are essentially arguing with reality. Letting go can help us adapt, or know what changes we need to initiate as a result of the other changes occurring.

• Practice noticing your thoughts. Carving out a little quiet time to practice noticing and then letting go, by returning to sounds in your environment, or to feeling your breath, can create some needed mental space. Thoughts can be so quiet, so insidious; they’re running in the ‘background’, running our ‘show’, instead of us consciously choosing how we want to be. Noticing these thoughts, and allowing instead of suppressing them, is how we can work with them; we can see the choices we have.

• Make a list of what’s most important to you. Knowing what your WHY is in any situation can help you change your perspective about the situation, and help you determine how you want to behave in it. You’ll see the actions you want, or don’t want, to take based on this information.

• Be kind. This may be the hardest strategy of all, but it’s really the most important. We are all so tough on ourselves; when faced with change (even positive change!) our insidious negative self-talk can be absolutely cruel with ‘what-ifs’ and ‘how could I haves’. Giving yourself encouragement by remembering the times you’ve handled changes well, forgiving yourself for something you feel you didn’t handle well, looking at the qualities you appreciate about yourself – these will soften the tough inner speak, and allow you to see new options for working with the change ahead.

Being human is intense. Sometimes life is a bumpy ride. And then it smooths out. All things change. Knowing your style of riding the bumps can provide valuable insight, and clarity, for how best to proceed. 

I’ve lived through many stages of life as a Mom. Right now I’m the Mom of a guy who’s almost 23 years old; he’s launched into a life he thrives in, doing work he finds challenging and rewarding after graduating from college a year ago. Luckily, I get to see him about every 6 weeks or so. And we text now and then.

Believe me…I’ve had to adjust to this amount of contact, and this new stage of life as a Mom.

The Mom Juggle Begins

When my son was 4 I started my side-hustle…working with career coaching clients at home while I worked with MBA students during my day job. At that time, I wanted my own business so I’d have a flexible working life, and be available for my son’s day-to-day life. We all know that being a Mom is a full time gig – whether or not you ‘go to work’; it takes so much  mental and emotional energy, organization, and often times invisible work to do the Job of a Mom. The years when I was working before I started my own business I was lucky to have help, but I always felt the pull to ‘be there’. I would race home from work to get dinner made, to give him a bath, to spend time with my husband, to put my son to bed…that long exhausting process of getting that kid to sleep which put me to sleep after a long day. Those were full days and I honestly couldn’t see much beyond them.

The Job of Mom

The Job of Mom – I experienced – changed every two weeks in the beginning, and then every 6 months to a year. Then we hit those early school years — just so busy with activities, school, organizing playdates, camps. I think of that as life in the middle. You’re just so in-deep with kid stuff – it’s hard to imagine having a life of your own, life to see friends, to be with your spouse without just talking about the kids. And you’re in the middle of building your career, in the prime climb time. Many of my clients feel that same conflict. They want to wring every moment from family life, and are busy exceling in their careers. It can be done, is done, and we all know it’s not easy to spread yourself that thin. It’s amazing, really, how we get it all done.

And then the teen years hit, and all bets are off. Everything changes. Adolescent personalities change, their physical appearance changes, you’re all dealing with grades and activities, social issues, college decisions…everything changes. Some of these changes are in you, too. Managing your career, on top of all that Job of Mom stuff while your kid’s life is upside down…your own goals can become more laser focused, or they may get cloudy. Those middle years can leave you breathless, frustrated and confused.

More Changes…

The responsibilities of the Job of Mom change as our kid(s) grow. And we, too, change. Maybe you have a partner who’s just as engaged with all of the parenting stuff, and maybe not. Maybe you’ve been working at home, taking care of the world of home life, and maybe you’ve been working your way up a ladder in an organization. You, like me, may be running your own business from home or your own office. How ever you slice it, It’s a big juggle. Sometimes it’s fun, sometimes annoying, exhausting, exhilarating, challenging, fulfilling.

Launching Them and Us

Some women can’t wait to launch their kid off to their next chapter as they hit 18, others cry every time they think of it. Regardless, our identity inevitably morphs. As my son left for college, a few years back, I cried so often, and worked so much, keeping myself busy, getting ready…ready for that empty nest life stage. Looking back I see it took me 3 years to really adjust to my new status in life. I probably looked like my usual self on the outside, but on the inside I was full of questions, struggling to know what my new purpose was now that my first focus had changed.

A New Identity, Integrated

As I’ve eased into my new identity of single (again) woman/entrepreneur/coach, mom of an adult son, I still feel as youthful and energetic as I did in my 20’s – but happily, I’ve eased into feeling a new peace with how I live, work and move in the world. What I aspire to accomplish, and how, has changed. It’s different now – more focused and more open, too. I lived as a single woman without a child until I was almost 40. When I was in my 30’s and looked ahead at having a family and career, I saw a recognizable path that other women were walking. Now I know that no matter how old you are, what career path you’ve started on, you can create your unique path that works for you. It’s easy to lose sight of a path we once saw, with all of the bramble that gets in the way, and new options that can distract us or side-track us. I know that for sure. But we can also forge a new path.

Transition, at any point in time, takes a lot of thought and can be emotionally challenging. I couldn’t manage all of the internal (and physical) changes by myself. Thankfully, I’ve had my friends, a few great professionals, and a lot of learning opportunities, to help me formulate ideas, stay healthy and befriend my new identities. Now I see my life — as a Mom, as a woman, as a professional, all integrating into this new me. Full of energy and enthusiasm to birth other entities – not children J

Where are you in your Life as Mom, your Job of Mom? What do you need in order to fulfill – or even see – your vision of life ahead?

Let’s all make the most of each identity, each stage, and season, of this life we get to live! Here’s to all of the transitions in your life ?

The Real Career Path

It’s so motivating to see yourself making it to your dream job—having that vision that propels you forward; it’s that inspiration that keeps driving you even when you have a bad day or week. But sometimes the path to get you where you want to go isn’t as straightforward as you might have thought. Maybe you think that path has a straight line trajectory, but reality tells you that things aren’t quite so simple. My experience with thousands of career transition and executive clients makes me certain that the uninterrupted upward, straight line to success isn’t what most people experience.

Once you have a vision, think backwards.

Life often doesn’t go as planned so I want you to think as flexibly and creatively as possible. If you become too fixated on what you expect the next job needs to be you may end up frustrated at a dead end. I’ve seen that happen to people. They were certain they were in line for the job that would take them to the top…and they weren’t. They needed to open their minds to rethink, re-imagine, their strategy to get what they wanted. There are plenty of ways to get what you want!

This is where the bridge job comes in.

The good news I want to share here is that I’ve seen a lot of clients move into jobs that put them closer to their dream job. So maybe you’re not there in just one job change, maybe it takes several job shifts to get there. When you’re looking for your next job I want you to be thinking about the next one, AND the next one after that! This is what strategic career planning is all about. Let the next job not be that major leap, but rather let it be a step in the direction that eases your transition to your goal. This means you trust the process of your career path. As you move forward, you develop genuine confidence and opportunities can more easily appear.

Career success depends upon your network. Period.

Maybe there’s a competing company or an adjacent industry that, if you gain more experience with them, you’ll reach your goal more swiftly. While you may be confident, right now, that you have what it takes for that ambitious job of your dreams, others still may want more proof. Frustrating…I know. But consider: what will help others know you’re the right person for the job? What skills can you acquire at a bridge job? What new network can you build at your next job that will bring you that much closer to the job you want? What valuable skills can you gain, or tweak, that will set you above others so you’re the obvious choice for the role you want?

Vision. Strategy. Patience that comes with confidence. There are so many routes that can take you to the places you aren’t even aware of yet. See where you want to go, but be open to the alternative routes that will support your goals, that will fill you with genuine confidence and the knowledge to be who you want to be when you arrive.

You know the feeling. Somehow something important slipped through the cracks and now your boss is looking for someone to blame. No matter what your title is, all eyes can be on you. You feel the heat rising in your body. Maybe you’re feeling a little trembly. Or there’s literally a sinking feeling in your stomach, like you’ve been punched. The adrenalin rush, the WTF confusion thoughts…How did this happen… runs through your mind. Your mind is rushing to remember where the gap was that allowed this gaff to happen. You might not even be able to see – the adrenaline floods the brain with stress hormones so fast.

Now’s the time to slow it all down and gain your composure — but how? I want you to know how to recover when everything is in fast motion causing an anxiety attack and mental blur.

I’ve worked with a lot of people who automatically see themselves as the guilty, faulty party. They are so responsible they step right up and know (even if they didn’t) they’ve screwed up. Those thoughts aren’t pretty;  the shame/blame vortex takes us to a place that’s hard to climb out of, and the lingering fear can keep you awake too many nights after the crisis subsides. You will not win the respect you want from your boss or your colleagues if you’re a panting pup trying to catch your tail! It’s essential to see clearly, and not be fogged by panic.

What to do when things go haywire: Pay attention to your BODY

You need to quickly respond to bad news by managing your body’s reaction.

1. Start by taking several deep breaths — try breathing in to 4 slow beats, and out with another 4 — to keep your pre-frontal cortex from being overloaded with the fight, flight or freeze trauma response.  This slow deep breathing will help you regain the oxygen you need to lower the adrenaline surge and stop the trauma (stress) from lodging in your body memory.
2. Even if you’ve reacted in a way you didn’t want to, you now have the wherewithal to know how best to respond. You can even have the mental capacity to go back to people who may have seen you momentarily lose it and apologize, and show you’ve regained your composure.
3. Find out the facts of the situation to help you and others assess what’s happened. Slowing things down enables you to have the measured presence of a leader who takes responsibility instead of taking reactive action.
4. Now you can calmly assure everyone that you’re on it. You can delegate if you need to but you’re taking care to problem solve with clarity and calm.

Be that person who can handle those inevitable mistakes, crises, and snafus with poise and calm and you’ll develop and embody a deeper level of confidence. You’ll show up, and be, the kind of person who inspires others to put their trust in you. You’ll be a genuine leader.

You’re on your way to work and you find yourself wondering how did I get here? The job you thought was going to be so great has become so laborious you find yourself wanting to turn around and go home, to get back in bed, to pull the covers over your head. Your boss, your to- do list, even some of your team mates are sucking you dry.

This is not where you thought you’d find yourself.

Where do you even start when you don’t know what you want to do?

Do not do what most people do! Most people will start idly scrolling through job postings online! This is one of the most disheartening things you can do to yourself. I say this because I hear it all the time. Most people will spend way too much time reading job descriptions, focus on the one or two things they aren’t qualified to do, and decide there’s nothing out there for them to do. You find yourself searching job titles and using key words that are close to what you’ve been already been doing and every job looks dry, dull and exhausting. But here’s the thing. We know that what you’ve been doing isn’t necessarily what you want to do next!

You know that saying, insanity is continuing to do the same thing but expecting new results.

The most important thing to do when you hit this inflection point of career disappointment, is to stop, take some slow breaths to genuinely calm down, and ask yourself these important questions.

1) What have I most enjoyed and felt most proud of in my life?

2) What’s missing in my day-to-day life that I’m longing to have more of – work or otherwise?

3) What would my ideal day/job/lifestyle look like?

Taking time to reflect on these questions will undoubtedly deliver useful insights. If you want to dig deeper use my free downloadable list of questions to spark and deepen your career clarity. Anyone can benefit from these questions – new graduates launching their careers, mid-career folks who have hit a road block or have had other life circumstances create major changes, or those of you who are finding your career path changing because of new technology or changing market conditions. You can also download my ebook Making Work Work: Secrets from a Career Coach’s Office which shows specific examples of how I’ve worked with, and successfully helped, clients facing all kinds of career challenges to make powerful changes in their lives.

You don’t have to stay stuck! And you don’t have to work on these changes alone. 2019 is fast approaching. Get started now with new perspective and self-knowledge and you’ll be off and running into a bright New Year!

The venerable Tina Turner used to belt out those powerful lyrics, What’s love got to do with it?

You’ve probably heard the adage Do what you love and the money will follow…Or that famous one, If you love what you do you’ll never work a day in your life. I know both of these to be absolutely true so indeed it turns out that love has a lot to do with WORK!

What does loving what we do look like?

Think about what love means to you. When I love something or someone I give my full attention. I’m all in. I listen, I look deeply to understand what’s happening. I want to know more. I do what I say I’m going to do and I do it with a willingness and a feeling of generosity and care. I want to know how to be able to love even better and be great at doing whatever I need to do so that my love is evident. Even when there are times that I don’t feel like doing something, or being there, I still show up and give, or take care of what needs to be done. I know that the tough days are temporary and that there’s something here for me to learn. I notice that more and more shows up to be revealed and I find new ways of being with what’s happening. Sometimes I do feel bored and even in a rut. And then I look for new ways to engage again… I try new approaches to make things interesting and satisfying and I ask important questions to understand if I’m missing something.

When we love something or someone anything is possible. 

Sometimes a job starts out by giving us, offering us, what we want and we enjoy the work, the effort, the reward. And then, at some point, things or people change. Co-workers, a boss, the marketplace, the demands change. Frustrations and fatigue set in. I had a boss who was unpredictable, self- centered and unaware of the impact she had on the office environment and even though I loved the work I was doing she was making things so stressful. It was crazy making.

How do you work with demanding, insensitive people or management decisions that don’t exactly nurture that feeling of LOVE?

Most of us talk with our friends and loved ones about what’s happening. You may internally fight what’s happening. You resist. You may go through the motions of dealing with the change or the bad behavior, but still refuse to bend to it, in your own way. You might obsess over the wrongness. But really, what does this do for you? It’s exhausting. We lose our love.

What’s the Antidote to Frustration at work?

There’s a powerful saying that rings true to me: getting angry at someone is like drinking poison and hoping the other person will die. Not very effective for us is it? For years I’ve been practicing particularly helpful techniques and ways of thinking to help lift me out of that grinding resistance mode to calm down, reconnect with my better self and my sense of love, to get clear, not even.

Here are a four questions to use when you’re not feeling the love and need a new perspective to make effective choices and smart moves:

1) What can I give to myself right now to help me feel more ease in this situation? Just some ideas: Some kind words acknowledging your good effort, some encouraging words about a project you know was well done, a nap after a big accomplishment, a walk outside?

2) What’s happening here that is affecting the others around me that I may not be aware of? If I could be generous to others what would ease their difficulty?

3) If I were to have a real conversation with the person I’m struggling with, in a neutral way and attentive way to understand more, what solutions could I present that would result in a win-win?

4) Why was I in love with this work, person, situation to begin with? What’s here that I love now that feeds me? What’s working right now? What am I grateful for here?

It may seem counter-intuitive, but softening up inside helps me to come back to a place of knowing I can work with whatever the situation is. Taking time to nurture kindness may show us what we can connect with, resurrect, or conversely, we may realize the love really is gone, the career path, the boss, the lifestyle isn’t working for us as we’d hoped it would. Seeing clearly, while sometimes painful, helps us to see the life, and love, affirming actions that ultimately make work, life, and connections more satisfying.

Your love for you, and your work, impacts everything. Live with that perspective for a week and see how your world looks and feels. I’d love to hear about what you discover.

With love,

Daisy

How are you loving your money? It’s no understatement to say that our relationship with money is one of the most complex relationships we’ll ever have. When I’m working with clients we are, at some point, talking about money – the desire to make more of it, to spend less of it, use it more wisely in a department or on marketing a new business. We research potential salaries, we strategize about negotiations for raises, or consider service pricing, or new capitol costs.

Often times, as we go through all of these scenarios the anxiety about and around money is high. We quickly learn what isn’t known about money, what’s hiding in plain sight, and then start to navigate a new relationship with those unknowns. One way or another, the relationship with money shows itself, and its eye opening!

If we love money, like we love the people in our lives, we also need to pay it the attention it deserves. I’m a fan of that statement ‘What we pay attention to grows’, but often we have so many complex feelings about money that we may ignore it and hope it grows, worry about it and hope for the best, avoid really knowing what we need, or spend and figure it will all work out somehow. Of course you know that even people who make a lot of money aren’t really aware of how they’re spending and caring for their money. If you’re one of those people who does tend to your money relationship with loving attention you may be scratching your head…but know you’re in the minority!

Show me the money (love)! Here are five questions to assess where you are with your relationship to money:

• Do you know what’s coming in and going out? Know what your fixed monthly costs are? Do you track your spending in some way, using Quicken or Mint or some other financial tracking system?
• Have you researched ways to cut down on debt rather than carrying monthly percentage rates that hurt you?
• Are you negotiating for a pay raise each year, or when you start a new job?
• Are you avoiding having an important conversation with business partners or a loved one because you feel anxious about what will happen when you do?
• Have you ever had a direct conversation with money? Sounds crazy but it’s a helpful thing to do so you can hear what money has to tell you about how you’re treating it! Just ask it :)While learning about money can be overwhelming, scary, and totally anxiety provoking, it can be one of the most empowering and transforming experiences of our lives, and undoubtedly one we will need to have again and again, like in any long-term relationship. I have listed many valuable books about money on my Recommended Reading page that will give you a good start on your money learning adventure. I know my money learning adventure is always being updated, and the early steps were scary, but again, so worthwhile.