How are you loving your money? It’s no understatement to say that our relationship with money is one of the most complex relationships we’ll ever have. When I’m working with clients we are, at some point, talking about money – the desire to make more of it, to spend less of it, use it more wisely in a department or on marketing a new business. We research potential salaries, we strategize about negotiations for raises, or consider service pricing, or new capitol costs.

Often times, as we go through all of these scenarios the anxiety about and around money is high. We quickly learn what isn’t known about money, what’s hiding in plain sight, and then start to navigate a new relationship with those unknowns. One way or another, the relationship with money shows itself, and its eye opening!

If we love money, like we love the people in our lives, we also need to pay it the attention it deserves. I’m a fan of that statement ‘What we pay attention to grows’, but often we have so many complex feelings about money that we may ignore it and hope it grows, worry about it and hope for the best, avoid really knowing what we need, or spend and figure it will all work out somehow. Of course you know that even people who make a lot of money aren’t really aware of how they’re spending and caring for their money. If you’re one of those people who does tend to your money relationship with loving attention you may be scratching your head…but know you’re in the minority!

Show me the money (love)! Here are five questions to assess where you are with your relationship to money:

• Do you know what’s coming in and going out? Know what your fixed monthly costs are? Do you track your spending in some way, using Quicken or Mint or some other financial tracking system?
• Have you researched ways to cut down on debt rather than carrying monthly percentage rates that hurt you?
• Are you negotiating for a pay raise each year, or when you start a new job?
• Are you avoiding having an important conversation with business partners or a loved one because you feel anxious about what will happen when you do?
• Have you ever had a direct conversation with money? Sounds crazy but it’s a helpful thing to do so you can hear what money has to tell you about how you’re treating it! Just ask it :)While learning about money can be overwhelming, scary, and totally anxiety provoking, it can be one of the most empowering and transforming experiences of our lives, and undoubtedly one we will need to have again and again, like in any long-term relationship. I have listed many valuable books about money on my Recommended Reading page that will give you a good start on your money learning adventure. I know my money learning adventure is always being updated, and the early steps were scary, but again, so worthwhile.