It’s been several years since I wrote an article about mindfulness becoming the new yoga. Indeed, this has continued to be the trend; mindfulness meditation practices are now mainstream, whether used via one of the many popular apps or delivered through Zoom classes, YouTube videos or podcasts. So many of us, this year alone, have found mindfulness practices to be one of the most essential ‘vitamins’ for coping with the heaping pile of crises we’ve been living through. As a long-time mindfulness practitioner and instructor, sitting meditation feels like a connective tissue in my being. This doesn’t mean that I’m a better human being than you or anyone else. I do have this, and other practices, to readily call upon to help me look at my experience with a larger perspective that helps me to cope with challenges. But it would be wrong for me, or truly, any of us, excepting maybe the Dalai… Read More
Mindfulness
Being with the Questions
I’m sitting here thinking of all the people I’ve listened to and talked with over the past two weeks. I’m privileged to hear and share with so many; these conversations have replenished my deep appreciation for our shared humanity, the commonality of resilience, intelligence and heart of people everywhere. This means, also, that I’ve witnessed and felt so much sadness and fear, disappointment, irritation, anxiety and anger in myself and others. Undeniably, we are all in this – no one is left out – no matter how rich or poor, truly. So, what do we do with our questions? How can we be with them so they don’t hijack our minds to places that don’t serve us? We all have our own coping mechanisms, but I’m here today to share what I’ve heard while on the Zoom calls I’ve co-hosted with my colleague Julie Cohen. We are continuing… Read More
The Danger of Living Up to My Potential Thoughts aka LUMPT (and other crazy-making thoughts)
Have you ever woken up, or laid awake at night, or sat at your desk with the thought ‘Ugh. What am I doing? I’m not living up to my potential like [fill in the blank with names of others you admire]. What am I doing with my life?’ This is one of the cruelest thought tunnels you can get lost in. Possibly, it’s worse if someone else you know – a parent, a friend or spouse – tells you, or alludes to, this belief about you. I know. I’ve been there – on all accounts. It’s awful. I’ve really wondered about this phrase because I’ve heard it so many times; what does ‘your potential’ mean? That because you’re educated, clever, funny, attractive, got a good mind and heart you should ‘be someone?’, ‘do something extra-ordinary?’, ‘make more than a million dollars?’ Your potential just seems like a loaded… Read More
Your Burnout is Real: What It Feels Like, and What You Can Do About It
Burnout is real. Sometimes people don’t recognize what their burnout is. If you’re feeling cynical, bored, and exhausted, like you just can’t muster the creative mindset you once had, focus on anything for very long at all…you’re probably in the midst of experiencing burnout. This kind of exhaustion or dullness can be debilitating, and is usually kept secret from employers until the damage has been done. If this sounds like you, trust that you’re not alone. A Gallup poll of 7500 employees found that 23% of participants feel burnt out all the time, and 44% feel burnt out at least some of the time. Other studies cite that as much as 60% of workplace absenteeism is related to stress and burnout, with 40% of employees considering quitting their jobs because of these feelings. This is a BIG problem and if you’re avoiding looking at it, it’s only going to… Read More
The Wisdom of Depression
A client recently shared that she was working a lot of hours on the very work she wanted to get away from. ‘The projects just keep coming so I can’t get away from them’, she shared. I can’t walk away from the work. ‘I feel like I’m getting further away from my creativity,’ she sighed. ‘It’s making me depressed.’ Yep. That’s right. That’s exactly what happens when we aren’t being who we really are. Period. The best thing any of us can do when that feeling of dark dread shows up is to get curious, to pay attention and then get down to creating our real strategy for movement from what’s taking us down, towards what really motivates us. I’m very familiar with depression, and I’ve learned a lot from mine. Those days when I went to work feeling myself armored in clothing that didn’t feel like me,… Read More
Ready for a September Re-Set?
Ready or not, summer is officially over with the upcoming Labor-Day Weekend. I remember when I lived in NYC years ago, and had a share in a summer house on Shelter Island; I remember the slow, hot crawl of a bumper-to-bumper trafficky drive back into the city on Labor Day’s Monday night. We were all feeling the so-called Sunday night blues…knowing that we were going back to work the next day… those summer days behind us. Maybe you’ve had your pedal to the metal all summer long, but even so summer just has a different vibe. So now it’s time for that September re-set. How about a re-set that inspires you so that as September glides into place we come back to school (it always feels like school again, right?) and regular schedules feeling re-energized, with our sights set on ending this year with personal and professional goals accomplished?… Read More
What’s Your Story?
When you’re presenting yourself in social, or more formal, situations- in an elevator or at those mythical cocktail parties – you have the choice, and the power, to help listeners learn what’s really important about you. How you talk about yourself, what you start with and where you go with your story, is always up to you. This requires, first, that you know who you are, what you want, and where you’re going. Sound like pressure? It might. A lot of people feel kind of queasy when they work on their elevator pitch. They try to memorize a catchy, pithy statement to use when meeting people, making sure they don’t trip on their words. Personally, I prefer that my clients think more about having a conversation with someone in a way that genuinely conveys who they are – hitting the key points that are important. You can call that an… Read More
What Stage of Mom Life are You In?
I’ve lived through many stages of life as a Mom. Right now I’m the Mom of a guy who’s almost 23 years old; he’s launched into a life he thrives in, doing work he finds challenging and rewarding after graduating from college a year ago. Luckily, I get to see him about every 6 weeks or so. And we text now and then. Believe me…I’ve had to adjust to this amount of contact, and this new stage of life as a Mom. The Mom Juggle Begins When my son was 4 I started my side-hustle…working with career coaching clients at home while I worked with MBA students during my day job. At that time, I wanted my own business so I’d have a flexible working life, and be available for my son’s day-to-day life. We all know that being a Mom is a full time gig – whether… Read More
How to Stay Calm When Things Go Wrong
You know the feeling. Somehow something important slipped through the cracks and now your boss is looking for someone to blame. No matter what your title is, all eyes can be on you. You feel the heat rising in your body. Maybe you’re feeling a little trembly. Or there’s literally a sinking feeling in your stomach, like you’ve been punched. The adrenalin rush, the WTF confusion thoughts…How did this happen… runs through your mind. Your mind is rushing to remember where the gap was that allowed this gaff to happen. You might not even be able to see – the adrenaline floods the brain with stress hormones so fast. Now’s the time to slow it all down and gain your composure — but how? I want you to know how to recover when everything is in fast motion causing an anxiety attack and mental blur. I’ve worked with a lot… Read More
Feeling Exhausted? Burned Out?
Feeling Exhausted? Burned Out? This past Sunday I got up early, had my coffee and finished putting some clothes in my bag that was already at the door ready to go. I hopped in my car and drove 90 minutes north of LA to Ojai – one of my all time favorite places to be because of the majestic mountains that surround the town and the lush landscape – to my dear friends’ house. But really I’d been looking forward to this particular Sunday for weeks to attend a class to learn more about my new hobby. A triple win! A great class, in Ojai, where I could also stay with friends. I drove up on the freeway in the grey June gloom of the low hanging marine layer of clouds we in LA know so well, and turned off on Route 33 that leads to the heavenly valley of… Read More
