Being with the Questions

I’m sitting here thinking of all the people I’ve listened to and talked with over the past two weeks. I’m privileged to hear and share with so many; these conversations have replenished my deep appreciation for our shared humanity, the commonality of resilience, intelligence and heart of people everywhere. This means, also, that I’ve witnessed and felt so much sadness and fear, disappointment, irritation, anxiety and anger in myself and others. Undeniably, we are all in this – no one is left out – no matter how rich or poor, truly. So, what do we do with our questions? How can we be with them so they don’t hijack our minds to places that don’t serve us? We all have our own coping mechanisms, but I’m here today to share what I’ve heard while on the Zoom calls I’ve co-hosted with my colleague Julie Cohen. We are continuing… Read More

The Danger of Living Up to My Potential Thoughts aka LUMPT (and other crazy-making thoughts)

Have you ever woken up, or laid awake at night, or sat at your desk with the thought ‘Ugh. What am I doing? I’m not living up to my potential like [fill in the blank with names of others you admire]. What am I doing with my life?’ This is one of the cruelest thought tunnels you can get lost in. Possibly, it’s worse if someone else you know – a parent, a friend or spouse – tells you, or alludes to, this belief about you. I know. I’ve been there – on all accounts. It’s awful. I’ve really wondered about this phrase because I’ve heard it so many times; what does ‘your potential’ mean? That because you’re educated, clever, funny, attractive, got a good mind and heart you should ‘be someone?’, ‘do something extra-ordinary?’, ‘make more than a million dollars?’ Your potential just seems like a loaded… Read More

Vulnerability and The Job Search

Hunting for work is tough…No matter what. In most cases, the job search is happening because you’re 1) out of work, 2) feeling stuck at your current position and want to move up and into more challenging work, 3) need more money, 4) are moving to a new place, 5) can’t stand your boss or the politics at work. All of these situations come with their own stressors. Even if you’re just ready for new challenges and are ready to move up and out, looking for a new job without the pressure of needing to move – it still isn’t easy! Whether you recognize it or not, the very act of job searching makes anyone feel vulnerable. From the online search, to asking friends (or others we don’t even consider friends) and family for advice or help, from dusting off the resume, to the awkwardness of being interviewed… pretty… Read More

I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For

What Do You Want? Do you feel like you still don’t know what you want to do when you grow up? You’re not alone. While actual statistics of the number of career changers is hard to pin down, roughly 30% of adults 25-44 are looking to make a career change! This aligns with my recent client stats; the average age of my male client is 35, and it’s 37 years old for my female clients, with a 50/50 split male and female. This includes the 50-somethings who are ready for a wholesale life change, and the 25-year-old folks who think they’ve already fallen WAY behind. Some of us are just seekers, always looking for new ways of creating and delivering something of value, so the word career is somewhat amorphous for them. There’s Always a Way It’s way too easy to believe there’s no way you’re ever going to… Read More

How to Manage Up Without Being a Pushover

What Does It Mean to Manage Up? The concept of managing up can be a bit tricky. For a simple definition, we can look at it in two related ways: on the one hand, it’s taking action to make leadership’s jobs easier, and on the other, it’s about managing your manager with feedback and solutions. Both sides of this definition look pretty much the same. As a valuable team member, it’s important to be proactive, to follow through, and to adhere to organizational policies. The closer team members follow management’s vision, the more neatly they fit together like cogs in a machine…But is that always a good thing? Putting too much focus on managing up, and thereby satisfying the wishes of the leaders of your organization at any cost, can quickly turn you into a pushover – a proverbial “yes wo/man” who doesn’t resist against bad ideas, or speak… Read More

The Wisdom of Depression

A client recently shared that she was working a lot of hours on the very work she wanted to get away from. ‘The projects just keep coming so I can’t get away from them’, she shared. I can’t walk away from the work. ‘I feel like I’m getting further away from my creativity,’ she sighed. ‘It’s making me depressed.’  Yep. That’s right. That’s exactly what happens when we aren’t being who we really are. Period. The best thing any of us can do when that feeling of dark dread shows up is to get curious, to pay attention and then get down to creating our real strategy for movement from what’s taking us down, towards what really motivates us. I’m very familiar with depression, and I’ve learned a lot from mine. Those days when I went to work feeling myself armored in clothing that didn’t feel like me,… Read More

Ready for a September Re-Set?

Ready or not, summer is officially over with the upcoming Labor-Day Weekend. I remember when I lived in NYC years ago, and had a share in a summer house on Shelter Island; I remember the slow, hot crawl of a bumper-to-bumper trafficky drive back into the city on Labor Day’s Monday night. We were all feeling the so-called Sunday night blues…knowing that we were going back to work the next day… those summer days behind us. Maybe you’ve had your pedal to the metal all summer long, but even so summer just has a different vibe. So now it’s time for that September re-set. How about a re-set that inspires you so that as September glides into place we come back to school (it always feels like school again, right?) and regular schedules feeling re-energized, with our sights set on ending this year with personal and professional goals accomplished?… Read More

Ready to Move Up? You Might Have to Move Out

We all want to move onward and upward. New job titles, pay raises, increased responsibilities – most of us that are growth minded seek these things out, but they can be hard to find in your existing workplace. Even if there’s some upward mobility at your current job, the research is pretty clear that people who change companies see bigger raises and bigger “jumps” in title, even if the actual responsibilities of the job don’t change much. It makes perfect sense, too. If you’ve been at one company for a while, and percentage-based raises are the norm, you’ll eventually stagnate (or close to it). The average raise rate in 2018 was 3.1%, and inflation was 2.44% – which isn’t a whole lot more money in your account. On the other hand, changing jobs means starting over with a new rate/salary, usually one that’s higher than your previous… Read More

What Stage of Mom Life are You In?

I’ve lived through many stages of life as a Mom. Right now I’m the Mom of a guy who’s almost 23 years old; he’s launched into a life he thrives in, doing work he finds challenging and rewarding after graduating from college a year ago. Luckily, I get to see him about every 6 weeks or so. And we text now and then. Believe me…I’ve had to adjust to this amount of contact, and this new stage of life as a Mom. The Mom Juggle Begins When my son was 4 I started my side-hustle…working with career coaching clients at home while I worked with MBA students during my day job. At that time, I wanted my own business so I’d have a flexible working life, and be available for my son’s day-to-day life. We all know that being a Mom is a full time gig – whether… Read More

How to Stay Calm When Things Go Wrong

You know the feeling. Somehow something important slipped through the cracks and now your boss is looking for someone to blame. No matter what your title is, all eyes can be on you. You feel the heat rising in your body. Maybe you’re feeling a little trembly. Or there’s literally a sinking feeling in your stomach, like you’ve been punched. The adrenalin rush, the WTF confusion thoughts…How did this happen… runs through your mind. Your mind is rushing to remember where the gap was that allowed this gaff to happen. You might not even be able to see – the adrenaline floods the brain with stress hormones so fast. Now’s the time to slow it all down and gain your composure — but how? I want you to know how to recover when everything is in fast motion causing an anxiety attack and mental blur. I’ve worked with a lot… Read More